Too Hot Not to Share!

In reading through my list of favorite blogs, i came across this post on the Married Domme that really "ground my gears". By "ground my gears", i mean turned me on. It seems i wasn't the only one turned on by this video. Though, i do feel that i was turned on for different reasons. Take a look.

This video and others like it turn me on because they give me ideas of things i could do for Mistress or things Mistress would like to do to me. Now, i wouldn't be excited about the idea of being locked up for 8 months, but i am sure that after that much time and the situation above, i could pull off a 1 minute orgasm(of course i have a quick trigger anyway). What really turned me on was the idea of maybe filming a video using a alternative like that blow up doll. i remember The Path Least Chosen blog which is now defunct and anthony had his little stuffed animal bear. But something about having that alternative pussy and performing for Mistress would be incredibly hot. Knowing how hot She would get knowing that i was fucking a pussy, not allowed to cum unless granted, all for Her pleasure. The whole idea turns me on and most likely is tied to the video fantasy or desire.

i remember when got Her first Strap-on harness and dildo. She could not wait to get home and fuck Her little bitch in the ass. Mistress was already dripping wet before She even slipped Her big cock in my bitch ass, knowing that this was the true expression of Dominance over me. i am fairly sure having me fuck a fake "puss" would make rare times Mistress would allow me inside of Her even more special. Who knows, maybe would even want to fuck my ass while i was putting it Her cock in the fake one. Even better, it could be my "practice puss" to work towards controlling myself so i can satisfy Her for the as long as She wants. i don't know, but it all sounds hot. Thanks Married Domme for sharing!

Bad Santa

Well, i have managed to screw things up again. Of course, being my own fault, i am the only one to blame. This Christmas i never managed to get any for Mistress. i spent much time considering what i could get Her, but the problem is that She is so generous and selfless that She never expresses anything She wants(materially). To add to the problem, i am not very good at making decisions by myself. In the past, when i had planned something special for Her for one of the important Holidays of the year, i have ended up sharing it with Her before hand(instead of making it a surprise) and W/we would change it up to something She really wanted to do.

This does not excuse me from not getting Her anything, but in my own little mind, had hoped that She would get me nothing this Christmas and that i could make it up to Her by taking Her out and spoiling Her for the day(Not that Mistress needs a holiday to be taken out). But at least i would feel that She would get what She desires and the money wouldn't be wasted on something She wouldn't like, never use, and just pretend to like.

Her most recent birthday i managed to do about 50%. Which was better than i was expecting since i was running low on ideas. i had been working on it for several months but had been coming up dry. The inspiration came in the 12th hour and i managed to pick something pretty good. Actually, i think She enjoyed all of Her gifts, but i think what She liked the most was Her new watch.

After discussing this with Her today, She made me aware of many little things She would like. The other problem i run into is that i put artificial high expectations on how i would like each Holiday to turn for Her. i desire for every gift i get Mistress to be as meaningful and special as the first gifts W/we exchanged W/we first met. That leads me to make no decision since it doesn't meet my demands. Instead, i should have bought Her small gifts(the act is more important that gift).

i hope to try to make it up to Her this upcoming week, though She doesn't like to spend money on Herself. i think a nice day of pampering is in order. i know i really screwed up this year but i hope to try to make it up to Her All i know is that i better not show up to any holiday empty handed. Sorry Mistress.

An Early Christmas Present-Part 2

So Mistress had gotten very aroused and hot and bothered after O/our short time together. So much, that right after the alarm went off on Friday morning, i felt some rubbing on my naked ass. Mistress had gotten up and started snuggling close to me. Rubbing my ass, moaning, stroking my leg. This is definitely one of the best ways to wake up in the morning. But it got better.

Unbenounced to me, Mistress was craving Her cock again. She managed to reach around and stroke it little by little. By this time, i had rolled over to my back and had Her stroking Her toy. Mistress didn't seem satisfied with the climax that drained Her cock last night. She wanted to drain every drop that had been stored up over the past 1 3/4 weeks. So She rubbed faster and faster, knowing i would not be able to take it much longer(She knows me so well). i asked if She wanted me to cum in which She responded with the affirmation that She wanted Her little bitch to climax. i then shuddered again, like the night before, all over. This time, i am sure She drained Her cock dry. Afterwards, i offered to service Her but She declined, pleased with Her morning activities and ready to go about Her day.

So Christmas came(pun) early this year in O/our house. Even though her cock is dry, it still aches for Her more than ever.

An Early Christmas Present-Part 1

Things have been on the down low recently with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, my parents visiting, and Mistress finishing up Her Masters Thesis class for Her degree last week. So much of Mistress' energies have been put towards that and with whatever leftover energy She has been focusing on providing warm quality family time for the holidays. i have really enjoyed it. W/we have spent much free time this past weeks just being together as a family and enjoying each other. She has also renewed some hobbies to help with the stress. i have done a little of that but have tried to be more helpful around the house and to Her needs. i have also been doing some more blog reading which always leads me to more thinking about Mistress.

So on Thursday night, Mistress noticed that i have been extra attentive to Her and particularly affectionate. i had felt bad that She had not been serviced in a while or hadn't masturbated. Mistress in Her wonderful kindness felt bad it had been a while since either one of U/us had climaxed told me to follow Her into the bedroom while O/our daughter was taking a shower.

After getting naked and making out for a short time, She was reminded how much She missed being pleased. After rubbing Her untouched pussy and bringing Her to an orgasm, i was instructed to get a condom and pleasure Her with Her cock!! i couldn't believe it. It had been a long time since Mistress had desired the pleasuring of Her pussy with Her eager cock. Of course i didn't waste any time following my instructions and slowly put Her throbbing cock inside Her eager mound. I offered to place numbing cream on it so that i may pleasure Her longer and without the risk of climaxing too quickly. She turned down the idea leu of the fact that O/our time together was going to be short anyway. That was exactly what it was. But that doesn't mean it wasn't pleasurable. i was able to bring Her to climax with Her cock and i was allowed to cum with Her, though i am not sure i would have been able to hold off after hearing the sounds of Her moans.

W/we had a little time to recoup afterward before O/our daughter was going to be out of the shower. i think this short time together triggered Her sex drive, because She was hot and bothered the next morning......

Thumper's Rule

i recently read a thought provoking post at Denying Thumper. In it he outlines a new rule instituted between him and his Mistress in order to promote more intimate pleasure for his Queen. Here is the synopsis he listed on his blog:

• I am not allowed to come on to her within 72 hours of her last orgasm. She, of course, is still free to instigate something, but I’m to respect her personage for at least three days after she comes.
• On the third night, I can try to seduce her (including putting my hands in places they aren’t normally allowed to go), but if she tells me she’s not interested I need to withdraw immediately and wait until the next day to make another move (or however long she prefers).

i have been known to also be less than attentive in the intimacy category in the past. Lets face it, life gets in the way and sometimes even Mistress' may need a little spark to remind them that She is as desired as well as worshiped. i think this plan, as dry as it may be, might work well to keep that alarm set to make sure Mistress is not only serviced but reminded that She always feels that She is a desirable woman.

The one flaw is that the timeline may be too ling for Mistress. In reality, i think She may want to be approached constantly so this may not work. i always desire Mistress but sometimes i need a wake up call that rings louder than the everything else around me. W/we will see how it goes and if Mistress thinks this is a good idea. She may feel it is a bit robotic but i think it may help keep those cooling embers stoked.

my Honor

i am so proud of of Mistress! She has been working on Her masters degree since the spring and just finished Her Masters Thesis last night. i know it was a huge accomplishment for Her to dothis all the while working full time in a new career. Unfortunately, this does not mean the end of Her Masters work since the thesis came a little over 3/4 through the process, but it still is a huge hurdle behind Her and She can not have to worry about it anymore. i am so proud of Her and all of Her hard work.

As you can imagine, it has made it even more challenging to try to connect and have quality time together. But i think W/we have managed well

and after some deep discussions, a getaway for Thanksgiving, i feel W/we are doing better. i am feeling more submissive and in turn i am not letting Mistress down.

On other notes, W/we have not had any real "play time" for Mistress but it seems W/we manage to squeeze in some orgasms for Mistress(and She is VERY generous to reciprocate if i have been good and attentive). W/we had a nice shower together this past weekend which reminded me that W/we do not hardly do that enough. i offered to come in and wash Her back, body and hair. i love doing that for Her and i need to find more times to do that. Of course, that turned Mistress on and i rubbed Her wet pussy to orgasm. i was not allowed to cum.

Later that weekend W/we found a little time to play with the Hitachi Magic Wand and i brought Mistress to climax a couple of times, after which She quickly had me cum with the wand myself.

See, i am very lucky. She is not only beautiful, generous, kind, caring, loving. She is also very smart(as per Her academic pursuits). it is amazing that i am married and owned my such an amazing Woman.

i do not have any items to give Her. So i present this award. i figure it is appropriate since it seems like it may be a accurate replica of Her cock.

Two worlds collide

For the first time in my life i had a moment in which my D/s lifestyle and my vanilla life came head to head and almost collided. i am sure many of you out there feel as though you are mildly schizophrenic in trying to keep these two worlds apart. Some folks are fortunate that they do not have to hide their true self from the world, but the rest of us must maintain the vanilla status quo in order to protect our professional lives. Because of that, i live two lives in person and online. There is the side of me the general public, family, and most friends see. Then there is the side of me that Mistress sees and i share with certain folks online. All along keeping two separate identities.

So i was on facebook(with my one identity) and noticed a friend from high school had posted Her status as having to get fit in order to play a dominatrix in an upcoming play this January. i wanted to comment and even offer suggestions in which She could read up in order to get into character. Just before commenting i realized i couldn't do that. i am not "out" with my vanilla friends and they would not understand. So i let it go.

For the first time in my life i think i started to know how it must feel to be a homosexual and still in the closet. Of course this hardly compares to the discrimination gays face day to day. But, i felt like i had a very small clue what it must be like to have to hide part of yourself in fear of judgement by your friends and family.

Mistress and i cannot really be pigeon holed into Republican/Democrat or Conservative/Liberal but W/we have always been in support of a persons right to be who they want to be and to live their live as they see fit, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Needless to say, the sympathy i had for the gay community(and any other group that lives in secret out of fear) has grown even more.

i consider myself lucky that i can be who i am with my Wife and the folks who i have met who are part of D/s.

A little BDSM for the holidays

Saw this advertisement for one of the art galleries in Washington D.C. A little kink to go with your turkey

Posted via email from Serving my Mistress

Oh to be Bound

In an effort to try to express myself for Mistress and share some of my fantasies(or desires) i hit upon another trigger. i really love to be bound. It doesn't have to be rope or any other particular material, but more importantly is the simple fact of being restrained. Confined so that i cannot move and i am totally at the whim of Mistress and Her desires.

Over the years W/we have explored different aspects of it. Sometimes Mistress will just bind my hands. Other times, She will go through an elaborate rope tying in which it has turned out both beautiful as well as functional.

Unfortunately, the house W/we live in doesn't allow for any type of dungeon setup. W/we have discussed putting some eye hooks in the ceiling so that i could be more easily accessed, but nothing as of yet. i have found various setups that allow you to maintain a "vanilla" house while having use of restraining equipment. One company, Foxy Furniture used to make them but due to their space constraints, allows you to download free plans to make them yourself. They have two items that "transform" from regular furniture to functional equipment. Looks like some really great ideas if you are handy with a saw and such.

Another company makes a Portable Dungeon that looks very intriguing. Definitely affordable and able to be taken down as needed.

But i digress. i very much desire to be bound. i fantasize about having Mistress tie me up to a St. Andrew's cross or from some eye hooks from the ceiling. She would then leave me there, in all my leather harnesses and ball stretcher. She would go an change into a hot leather corset with Her heels, making Her even more Dominating than usual. She would then rub Her wet pussy, getting Herself off several times because She is turned on by the display before Her. She would then periodically stroke Her cock to the point of climax and stop. Each time She stopped, She would find a new toy to pleasure Her. From time to time She would back Her hot box onto Her throbbing cock and ride it. Again, stopping before my climax. This would go on for hours. In between, She may go get food, watch television, or surf the net. While surfing, She would realize that pictures of the occasion would be appropriate so She would get the camera and capture moment forever(and share with others). Eventually, after teasing and arousing me, She would allow me to cum. But She would command that i cum far to show my desire for Her. Of course, after all the teasing, it would feel like the string on a bow and arrow pulled all the way back on the verge of release. i would come so hard that it would shoot halfway across the room. She would leave me there to wilt and recover.

Share a Fantasy

This past weekend was rough because of my meltdown and O/our examination of O/our D/s relationship. Throughout O/our discussions, Mistress expressed disappointment that i have never shared any fantasies with Her. i am not one to fantasize. This is most likely due to the fact that i only desire for Mistress to be pleased and i feel that my fantasizing i may be "topping from the bottom". But, one did occur to me this past weekend.

In one of O/our closer moments Mistress asked me to stand by the bed and put a show on for Her while She rubbed her neglected pussy. It was at that time i realized how much i enjoy performing for Mistress. Giving Her Her own private show. It is most likely why i enjoy making those videos for Her to show that i have done the tasks She has asked of me. i am not sure if it is a fantasy or just expressing something i enjoy doing for Her, but i found it revealing and surprising that i felt this way.

Of course i was able to enjoy the show that was before me also. Nothing is hotter than watching Mistress rub HEr aching pussy while i performed for Her by stripping and rubbing Her cock for Her pleasure. It was incredibly intense and i felt a high that i only experienced when i did the same for Her on video.

So i guess my fantasy lies in desiring to perform and/or film my performance for the pleasure of Mistress. i hope that maybe Mistress may have some assignments or "requests" for me in the future.

Words of Wisdom

"You are only measured by what you give."

"You can only give what you have."

These are gems of wisdom delivered by Dr. Tim Lautzenheiser at his leadership training seminars for high school band students. i have repeated it many times over the years when i was a teacher and now i am going to take my dispensed advice.

This past weekend i had a type of meltdown with my feelings of being overwhelmed at work now that Mistress is no longer there to help. This all culminated with a harsh awakening of my neglected responsibilities at home and to Mistress. The past few months have been difficult trying to adjust to the new work situation and maintaining my servitude to Mistress. i very much desire to submit to Her but at the end of the day there is "nothing left in the tank".

This is where the opening phrase comes into play. i have discovered that i cannot submit(give) to Mistress if i have given all i had all day long. Of course there are many ways to "put more in the tank"(i.e.-go to bed earlier, eat better, etc.) and both of those will be helping me to better provide for Her in the upcoming week. But adjusting and guarding my energy levels throughout the day should also allow me to be active at the end of the day.

It is really amazing how a loving, caring, and sympathetic Domme can make all the difference in the world. She made me feel so much better by listening to my problems and not making me feel bad about myself as a person because of it. For that, i am very fortunate.

So i start this week anew with vigor and a new outlook. All in effort to be a better person, business owner, father, husband, and most importantly:submissive.

She is...

She is beautiful.

She is sexy.

She is loving.

She is caring.

She is the center of my universe.

She is an incredible mother.

She is a natural teacher.

She is Dominant

She is understanding

She is funny

She is caring

She is generous

She is thoughtful

She is my Love

She is my friend

She is my Mistress

She is my Wife

She is all these things and more.

i love You.

Happy Birthday Mistress!!

Dealing with the "Switch"

Work and family activities have keep Mistress and i very busy lately. In addition to O/our responsibilities, sickness and allergies of the the harvest season have reeked havoc on O/our lives. This has really pushed O/our D/s time to the back burner while W/we regroup and recover.

This "drop" most likely occurred after a couple of disappointing weekends with O/our non-vanilla friends. i am happy to say that all is well but that W/we will be waiting for things to regroup and settle down before W/we plan another get together. One of the things that those events stirred was the desire to find some more like minded folks. This search has lead to some observations and revelations on my part.

First, W/we are very lucky to have met and befriended people like Domina and anthony. Not only are T/they great people but rare. What i mean by that is that i am slowly discovering that the BDSM community is a niche group. Within that group is an even smaller sub-section(LOL) of folks in a committed Female Led Relationship. This is my second observation.

Couples in a real Femdom relationship are very rare. There seems to be a large amount of people that are into the play aspect of what D/s may bring, but not so many that are really interested into submitting to their Mistress. This is by no means a judgement, but an observation. It really blows me away that Mistress and i even met up with Domina and anthony at all.

Lastly, there seems to be a large cross-section of the BDSM community that identifies themselves as "Switches" Which brings me to the subject of this post. Mistress and i have had many discussions on "switches". It may be O/our relationship or O/our biased lenses in which W/we view the world, but D/s is not something i feel is swappable.

If one is a true submissive, they cannot turn that off. Being submissive is not just about the bedroom. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. i see couples all the time and can tell how it plays out, even if it doesn't show it's head in a form of kink. There is a top and there is a bottom. Black and white. i feel that those folks who can change like a chameleon are mearly into the role-playing aspect of D/s.

This really has become evident to me in the search for other like minded couples on other sites. The male Dom and female sub are the majority and the switches are a close second. The Female Led Relationships are a small section of these people.

i am not sure i will ever understand switching and that i may have upset some of my readers by my statements here but this is something that i have been stewing on for quite a while an wanted to put it out in the open. Everyone should express themselves as they feel fit. But being a submissive, i only see it one way.

Another Commercial to Share

A friend of mine made me aware of this new commercial. The only problem is, i don't know of ANY Dominatrix that does something "on command". More like the other way around.

Mainstream BDSM

In Mistress' post "Domination Goes Mainstream" , Mistress linked to Master Kelly's site where he does an extremely thorough job of finding BD/SM in the media(television, movie, print). Mistress has asked me to take a look at the sight and give it a once over. i thought i would periodically post some of the better findings, since many of these episodes are hard to find online.

So on the end of a fall weekend, enjoy this take on being a professional Domme in "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"

Weekend Recovered

As stated in Mistress' blog and here, W/we were supposed to get together with Domina and anthony this Saturday for a second try at dinner. Unfortunately, the plans fell through at the last moment and Mistress and i were left sitting looking at each other two hours before we were supposed to meet. It would not have been so bad if W/we hadn't driven O/our daughter to her grandmother's for the weekend the night before(3 hour ride each way). Also, W/we have the added difficulty of living far away from a big city, so making new plans was out of the question. So Saturday was spent in sitting around in a blue funk and just frustrated.

Don't get me wrong, i really like Domina and anthony. But until anthony can manage his ex-wife and put his foot down on her irresponsible behavior, this is always going to be problem. i hope that they can work it out so Domina and anthony can be together without interference.

So Sunday arrived, which meant, getting back in the car and putting another 6 hours on the road. Mistress decided to take it upon herself to make the drive alone since i had a church commitment that morning. Also, that way, She would be home at a decent hour. i decided that since i would have the day to myself that i would take it upon myself to clean up O/our bedroom so that it would be more conducive to being together instead of bringing the feeling of crashing.

Having stewed on the text messages Mistress sent me on Thursday, i decided to return the favor. i was getting hard just thinking about them. One in particular, "Lick me from my clitoris to my asshole" had me wound up. It had been a very long time since Mistress had let me partake in the feast of Her mound. Knowing She would need some cheering up, i sent Her one hot message after another, expressing my desire to taste Her and please Her.

my messages were met with approval. i even sent a couple of pictures(utilizing the new MMS feature on the iPhone) of how hard She made me. Mistress instructed me to take a picture of my ass and a pic of it spread, of which i was happy to oblige.

By the time She arrived home, W/we were both wound up. W/we made arrangement for O/our daughter to lay down while i serviced Mistress. Oh boy! i could have eaten Her out all day an night. i made Her cum over and over again. Each time harder. Mistress then desired Her cock inside of Her. i suggested using the special medical cream so that She could ride it the way She likes. After apply the cream, She mounted and rode Her cock hard. Porn Star hard. i was so pleased to watch Her get off on Her cock.

Mistress came several times this way, including Her ejaculating also. i was instructed to get on top and give it to Her. It was wonderful knowing i could do as She asked without the fear of it ending too soon. W/we both ended up coming and having to stop out of sheer exhaustion.

it wasn't a very D/s scene, but it was no less hot. And most importantly, Mistress was serviced. i was very glad we were able to turn the weekend around and make something out of it.

A Wonderful Night Ruined....

...by me.

Thursday is my scheduled long night at work, due to O/our daughter's after school activities. With what she has and where it is located, it doesn't make sense to go home in between, so i stay at work and try to get things done.

Just like most days recently, things have been very hectic and busy at work. i was pleasantly surprised when i received a text message from Mistress instructing me to go into the bathroom and stroke Her cock and stop before climaxing, three times. i texted back asking if She desired proof(video). She did. i was very excited. i love making videos for Mistress and it has been a while since She has requested one. The only other instruction was that to make it different. This was a challenge since i was at work and had little to work with.(no pun intended) So i proceeded to the bathroom to complete my task. i was already half bulging out of my pants before i even got started i was so excited. i managed to make video of about 5 min in length and tried to dress(or undress) it up. i do desire for Mistress come up with different things She would like to see on video.

i was pretty wound up most of the day after that. Mistress continued to send hot messages that kept getting me excited for Her. i knew She had a hold on me since it is difficult to snap out of the "work world" and be there in that mindset. Many times, even when i am speaking with Mistress on the phone, i am interrupted by other phone calls, customers, and employees.

The later part of the day was spent trying to balance trying to post up the video for Mistress(video was too large to email) and getting things done. In the messaging back and forth, Mistress has commented that She thought there were changes in store for this weekend's "Take 2" with Domina and anthony. W/we somehow got on the discussion of hard limits and i felt like i wanted to discuss this with Mistress and try to explore my feelings. The problem arose when i arrived home last night that my daughter was being particularly chatty and needy and i was having a difficult time accessing those feelings. By nature, i usually start with the negatives, which ends up taring down Mistress' excitement and enthusiasm. Mistress was also all over me, but again, O/our daughter really wouldn't allow for a moments peace. By the time we has some peace and quiet, i was frustrated and defensive. This was not my desired outcome of the evening. Mistress has planned a really hot evening and i had basically flushed it down the toilet.

i felt really bad. i was looking forward to the evening with Her and i had managed to dismantle the entire thing with insensitive comments and being closed. i know that i have a hard time tapping what i am feeling about things. The problem is that i like to gather opinions and then i derive my own. The other problem is that i hadn't given any thought to the topic at hand. So i had nothing.

i really love the way Mistress set up the whole day and the way She flirted with me on and off. i know i was cold and closed, but i am sorry for what occurred. i thankful for all She does and for having me write in this blog. i feel that i can put my feelings out in a clear an helpful way by writing here.

One of the texts W/we have been sharing back and forth has been.

i love You.

i need You.

i want You.

That will always be true for me.

What a Week!

Much has happened since i posted last Friday. The bad part has been that it hasn't been any calmer. The great news is that it has been a great week.

O/our dinner plans with Domina and anthony went great(until they has to leave ubruptly). They were so kind to make the drive to U/us and have dinner at O/our house. This is very special in that most of O/our friends(and family for that matter) will not make the drive out to see U/us and it usually means that W/we have to travel. After several glasses of wine conversation was all over the road. W/we covered everything from D/s to Disney. It has been a long time since Mistress and i have had that much fun with another couple. It was unfortunate that the evening had to be cut short due to domestic problem at home. The good news is that it looks like W/we will try to pick up where W/we left off in a couple of weeks.

Sunday was spent recouping and resting for the upcoming week. Monday ended up presenting some pleasant surprises. O/our daughter had her first Girl Scout meeting and it turned out that instead of the usual 1 hour meeting, they were extending the time to 1 1/2 hours and feeding the girls dinner. That meant that Mistress and i could have some quiet time alone. Well, it wasn't quiet. Mistress decided She wanted to play with Her two favorite toys, me and the Rimba. This time She added a finger up my ass to the Rimba and it sent me over the edge. i know She gets very turned on and wet knowing She can control Her cock with a remote control and Her finger, without even touching it. Needless to say, i came very hard with copious amounts of cum. If you haven't used one of these, you need to put it on your shopping list.

Monday's events helped to propel us through the week of work and activity. i was busy rehearsing with my chamber music ensemble all week in preparation for a concert on Thursday. That meant i was out most nights. Mistress was very supportive of me and my music. i know this is hard for Her but i am so appreciative of Her support this week.

Last night was our music ensemble's concert. This included a free dinner in which i could bring Mistress too. It turned out great and one of the highlights of the night was having Mistress sitting front row only 7 feet away the whole concert. It was a little distracting(in a good way). I tried to make eye contact throughout the performance while balancing my responsibilities of the group.

Looking back on the week, it was very busy but real good. i couldn't be more lucky to have a supportive and understanding Mistress who allows me to pursue my music. So many things have been positive in O/our lives this week. W/we both have been eating better(of course because of Mistress) and that has led to U/us both feeling better.

i just can't say how lucky i am to be loved, married, and cared for my such a wonderful Mistress.

Picture i had to share

Great picture from roflrazzi.com.

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

At least the keyboard is.(in this case). In re-reading my post from last night and speaking with Mistress, i realized i was hurtful in some of my comments. i was not intending for that result but should have written my post when i was in a better state of mind instead of when i was upset and at work. i am familiar with the lesson of "When you are upset, write a letter, then put it away. Come back a day later and re-read the letter and make the changes. Follow this for several days and see if your feeling are a little more clear". i think that good advice that i should apply to my blog.

i definitely made it seem like i wasn't appreciative of all that Mistress does for me. On the contrary, i am extremely appreciative of all She has done. She has taken up some of my chores around the house to counteract the long hours at work. It was also very touching how She created a special moment when She put my anklets back on(of which i was very excited to have back) i was very dismayed that i had left that out last night in my post, because that was my original intention(instead of going off on a tangent).

i am also very excited of the things to come. Mistress has planned a nice get-together with Domina and anthony for the weekend, which looks to be very promising since it has been a long time since W/we have caught up with them. i am also very excited for the upcoming podcast Mistress and i have been working on putting together. W/we hope to provide folks with good information and some stimulating ideas.

So let that be a warning to everyone to learn from my mistake(or a reminder). Make sure you edit, correct, modify, and rethink before you hit send, save, or my favorite "submit".

Post Birthday Chaos and Kryptonite

As many of you have read, W/we celebrated my birthday a couple weeks ago with what i would call "Orgasmfest 2009". It's true, the best things in life ARE free!!

The wonderful weekend Mistress provided was followed by life, work, and kid changes. This has definitley caused our D/s time to take a seat on the back burner. Mistress was on Her second week of Her new job(and profession) and i was still struggling to learn the ropes and all that She did at O/our business. In order to recoup some sanity and strength, W/we decided to make a medium drive to my in-laws on the Lake. Normally. this would be relaxing, but when accompanied by four children, it can be a bit un-nerving. The kids were great but the act of loading them all up into a car and making a 3 hour drive(with dogs) can be a bit much.

Before we left for the lake, Mistress removed my anklets since i would probably be swimming in front of them in plain view. The effect is like Kryptonite to Superman. i noticed immediately the lightness of my feet and legs. i knew deep inside i felt incomplete. Sometimes it's really frustrating to have to put on these "masks" for other people.

When W/we got back, things became more hectic. O/our daughter was starting school and i was missing one of my employees for the week while She was on vacation. So things have been twice as stressful.

i know this is sounding like a "gripefest" but it is difficult to get into "sub space" with so many distractions around. i am hopeful that W/we will be able to get into a new routine and get back to that place W/we both desire to be.

Birthday Weekend

Mistress was so wonderful to plan a nice birthday weekend for me. It was a different experience for me since Mistress asked what i wanted. i was left speechless and dumbfounded. i always defer to Mistress on decisions and find it very difficult to tap into my personal feelings on what i want to do. The best i usually muster up is becoming the 'Devil's Advocate" which ends up driving Mistress batty.

With funds being tight and Mistress having planned to have O/our daughter to stay at a friends house over the weekend, W/we decided to stay home and just enjoy each other. This of course led to what sexual things i desired for my birthday weekend. Without prior thinking, planning, and stewing, i found it difficult to pinpoint something. i know most guys out there can roll off a list of kinky fantasies in a heartbeat but my mind doesn't work that way. Every time i came up with something, it was "Mistress Centric". After trying to come up with something, i came up with a challenge of how many times Mistress could get me to cum in 24hrs. Sounded like a fun and pleasurable challenge.

And it was. Mistress did something different every time. She rode me first to orgasm. Mistress stroked me to climax twice. She teased me to peak with The Hitachi Magic Wand. Lastly, She had me stroke myself to cum. i think Her cock was numb by the time it was said and done. When it was all said and done, She had made me cum 5 times. i really wish i could have given Her more or had pleasured Her more with Her cock, but i don't think She felt at all unsatisfied since She managed to squeak out 12 climaxes. Several of them shook the house and left marks on my back(yum).

i am so fortunate to have a wonderful Mistress who takes such great care of me. But now, i lookf forward to getting back to my role a the provider of pleasure for Her.

Next year, i will be sure to give it some more thought, even if it doesn't "cum" naturally.

Food for Thought-Femdom in the Media

i thought i would share this gem from the 1970's. Made me giggle. Maybe 8 isn't enough?

Video Killed the Radio Star

Mistress has been requesting of me lately that i dismiss myself at work to the bathroom and stroke Her cock up to release and stop. Of course, i eagerly obeyed and decided to take it a step farther and provide some proof of the task at hand(no pun). i was able to prop up my new iPhone 3GS to video the stroking of Her cock. Mistress was very pleased and i discovered a new form of excitement i had not felt before. Almost a type of exhibitionism. But it was different in that i was turned on by knowing She would be watching it and possibly getting off, rubbing Herself while watching.

i wasn't sure She would like it but was reassured by Her following up with more tasks of similar nature. Each time, i started to think of how i could make it more sexy and appealing for Her. So i decided to include the teasing of myself before hand and then taking out Her cock. i was incredibly turned on by the thought of making Her wet and pleasuring Herself to this. It just seemed to build up like a snowball rolling down the hill.

What i was not expecting was Mistress posting one of these videos on Her blog for the world to see. i am a little embarrassed and a little bit proud, that She felt i was worthy to the world. It even seems some readers have been given the assignment to watch said video. Again, i am honored.

i am always to proud to serve Mistress, but this particular aspect has been quite exciting and i am looking forward to future assignments from my Love.

A Romantic Post

Mistress' number one complaint of me is my lack of romance. i cannot disagree with Her in that i find it challenging to be romantic(or at least express my love, devotion, and desire for Her) i am guilty of not expressing myself through romantic or thoughtful actions that i come up with on my own. From time to time i surprise Her with something out of the blue, but more often than not, i have to be provoked or reminded. i always feel bad that i am not naturally wired that way, but i am now turning my focus on my improvements on that aspect of O/our relationship. Up to now, i have worked towards making sure Mistress' needs are met and that my tasks and duties are being completed. Many of you who have been reading here know that i struggle with that also. As time has passed and i adjust to my new work duties, it is getting easier, which i hope will allow me to add that aspect to O/our relationship more often.

i know that this post was called "A Romantic Post", and it has been pretty clinical. i may not be the most romantic by nature person, but i can at least recognize romance. So i will direct you to someone who has put into words a very sweet, touching, and beautiful recollection of a personal experience. This comes from a blog you should definitely follow:

Let the Rain Come

Dark and quiet in the very early morning. The world is still around me. He breathes softly next to me. I reach my hand to him, feeling his warmth. He sighs a little as I stroke the skin of his back, from neck to waist. I turn to him and fit my hips against the curve of him, thigh against thigh, knee tucked in tight. Then with just a whisper I hear the rain begin.

It is so soft at first against the roof. We two are all alone in the small trailer here in the mountains. There is a darkness that is velvet and inky, it surrounds us. So seldom do we experience this much dark at home in the city. Little by little the rain grows. Little by little I stroke his skin harder and more. Down his side, then I reach around and stroke his chest, the pads of my fingers soft at first then I curve my fingers and let my nails drag a bit, then a bit harder down lower and lower. His sigh is deeper now. The rain falls harder now. He turns to me, kisses me full on the mouth, his hand running down my side.

"Will you stand with me outside in the rain?"

And so we slip on shoes but nothing else. And the rain falls through the canopy of the trees, huge oaks gather it on their palm shaped leaves and when it is too heavy to hold any longer they let spill down to the waiting earth. We step away from the doorway, away from the one small light on in the trailer that casts a soft glow out into the deep darkness. We stand together, warm naked bodies pressed chest to chest, hip to hip, thigh to thigh. And the rain is soft on our skin, our hair, our faces. We stand together and each turn our faces up to the falling rain. He stretches his hands up and out. I take my hands and touch him, feel him. From chest, to shoulder. Strong muscles pulled taut as he holds the pose. His hips press against me harder. His sex swells and I feel it against mine. My hands continue out along the plane of his outstretched arms until my hands reach his, my fingers curl against his palms. My face I press against his chest, that too now wet with the softly falling rain. Our skin where pressed together is hot, our skin where the rain has made us slick and wet is cool.

He curls his arms down and around me, his hands run down my rain wet back and lower still until he cups my ass pulling my hips even tighter to his swollen cock.

I kiss his lips again, open my mouth easily to him and taste this man I know with everything I am.

"Take me inside and make love to me."

from Honey's Hive

Even in virtual worlds

Yes, even in virtual worlds, Mistress beacons me to serve Her. For those of you on Facebook, there is an application/game called "Farmville" which is not to unlike the Sims or Sim City. The premise is that you farm your land and help others farm their land. You gain points and money by helping others and in turn can grow your farm even more. Well, Mistress has needed some help on Her farm to keep things rolling. There are many chores and tasks that need to get done. So, i created a "Farmville" account and proceeded to set up camp next to my love's location so that i may regularly help Her harvest and maintain Her farm.

Now, if i could only do something about my dress attire.
"

A How To Video-Foot Massage

It is a lot of work being a Domme(so i have been told). So Mistress requested a foot massage from me, especially since O/our little one is away and i could spend more time and energy attending to Her needs. While She was lying on Her stomach surfing the web, She came across a video. This video demonstrates how to give a proper foot massage. i could see the video from where i was positioned and took note. The problem came when i couldn't replicate what the video was asking me to do since i was in a different position. i then insisted that i should do this correctly and desired to learn how to do it better than i have.

So i positioned Mistress around on Her back and set up the laptop so i could follow along. Mistress was immediately into Her relaxing moaning during the whole process. It's a great video. So i figured i would share for all of the subs out there looking to improve on their servicing of their Dommes feet.

Back, Legs & Feet:
How To Give A Stress Relieving Foot Massage

A Memorable Evening

Yesterday was one the most erotic and intense days i can remember experiencing with Mistress. There have been other times in which both of U/us were in "The Zone" but, this one takes the cake. Usually, these special times are very planned out and orchestrated in order to make for the best results. i would have to say the spontaneity was incredible.

The day started with my usual path of getting up and going to work. Mistress and i conversed back and forth via text and facebook throughout the day. Then, i got a text message. This usually means She doesn't want prying eyes to see. She commanded me to go into the bathroom and stroke Her cock while i was thinking of Her, up until orgasm. She has asked this of me in the past but now, i was armed with a new piece of technology, my iPhone 3GS. For those of you that don't know, the new iPhone has a video camera on it. So i figured that i would provide evidence on my completed task to Her.

i proceeded into the bathroom and began to stroke Her cock. It didn't take very long to get hard. Just thinking about Her getting off when She gets the video in Her email was enough to drive me nuts. It didn't take long to reach the edge of orgasm, after which i emailed Her the video. This filming thing is something i have been wanting to incorporate into O/our relationship for a while, and this was the perfect time.

As i went through the day i was always a little more "primed" than normal. Between the stroking and the thoughts of Mistress being pleased by Her new video.

i got home later that evening to discover that She had spent most of the day cleaning and checking things off of Her list. She even made a big batch of chili for the family. i felt very spoiled. The remainder of the evening continued pretty much uneventful since our child was around.

W/we both decided to turn in for the evening. Me in my uniform(nothing on) and Mistress in Her night clothes. i guess the sight of me laying there and the interactions of the day spawned Mistress to not let this evening end so quickly. She climbed on top of me, in that dominating way i oh so love and W/we kissed and made out. All the while She rubbed Her pussy up against my hard erection. i love it when She gets on top and just takes command of Her desires.

Then She got off and instructed me to get on my hands and knees. Feeling that i deserved punishment for neglecting my duties at home, She proceeded to whack me with Her crop. Again, not losing my erection all the while. Knowing that She is enjoying my punishment and the show She is getting.

Afterwards She had me lay on my back. i was instructed to touch Her now dripping pussy. Thats enough to make your heart rate increase!! Mistress has been talking about a good ass fucking for a while, and that's exactly what She did. Not the usual strap-on, but a double ended dildo.

Of course She was very caring and gentle to warm up my ass for the impending penetration. Using Her fingers with that "come here" gesture to rub my prostate. i feel like a puppet in Her hands when She does this. i am totally in Her control and at Her whim. After getting me started, She proceeded to the dildo. It was incredible to feel the long cock slide into my eager ass. Mistress also decided to compare my small member to the large cock She and i would be taking in. After inserted into me, She proceeded to put the other end in Her pussy. Rocking back and forth, i could feel the cock slide in and out of me as it slid in and out of Her. W/we are lucky that our daughter sleeps deep since the moaning and screaming was over the top. i think Mistress came several times. Each time She stopped, my cock would feel a warm burning sensation, the pulsing of my prostate. i could practically just stay there and most likely could cum. We repeated this several times until i could take no more. i begged and begged for Her to let me cum. In all of Her kindness i released a stream of cum like never before.

After W/we had come down from O/our sexual high, i was still moaning and semi hard for almost a half hour later. What a memorable night!!!

Adding to My Metal

This past week has really been wonderful with Mistress. For those of you who have not followed, Mistress and i had four days in a row kid free!!! This has been a first for U/us. It has allowed me to dress more appropiately at home and in front of Her. i know it pleases He when i wear just my leather collar, Her panties, and nothing else. In addition, Mistress mixed it up by purchasing a Rimba(e-stim) for U/us to play with. It didn't go as planned the first couple of times, but the desired effect was achieved on the third. You can read more on Her blog here.

Mistress also has me don Her silky night shirt when i was cold. It was nice to be free to serve and please Her in the ways She enjoys most. Usually W/we have to go away in order to have this quiet time and it changes up O/our routine. It was great to be able to stay in O/our daily routine with the added dimension even more present.

Quiet. Did i say quiet? Well, when it came to servicing Mistress, quiet was NOT the appropiate word. With no kids in earshot, my ears were treated to moans and screams as Mistress felt free to cum as hard and LOUD as She likes. What a treat. It makes me hard just thinking of it. i think She hurt Her voice a couple times this week.

You would also think it would be all about the sex. But it wasn't. It was better. W/we were also able to have full un-interrupted conversations and just enjoy each other without any other responsiblities. It was definitely something i was not expecting nor something i realized i had missed. For those of you with kids, you understand.

The icing on the cake was my new anklets. Oh so nice! i am so glad Mistress decided on something to substitute for my metal collar. i am getting quite a collection of metal.

It just goes to show you that you do not have to go away to special time with the one you worship and love!

Long Overdue Time

Mistress and i will finally be getting some long deserved quiet time when our daughter goes away to camp for the next four days. i am looking forward to spending quality time with Her. Pleasing, serving, and catering to Her in the way She really wants. i am working on some places to take Her that we normally do not get a chance to do since W/we have O/our daughter. i am sure several nice dinners out are in order. Maybe a movie. W/we will see. But this week needs to be time for Her. She certainly deserves it for all She does for me and everyone else.

i am also excited since Mistress purchased a Rimba and ordered anklets for me.

W/we will be sure to keep You updated on the week.

Her Presence

This week has been particularly stressful at work since Mistress has officially begun Her withdrawl from O/our business in order to prepare for Her new job. It means that i not only responsible for my usual tasks but also Hers. Needless to say, She does alot and i knew i would have big shoes to fill. To add to the stress of my first week without Her, W/we had a piece of machinary go down and one of O/our key employees has been out sick for two days this week. So things have been hectic.

What i did realize is how much i rely on Mistress for guidance and stabiliztion. i have always known my position in O/our relationship but never realized that just Her presence is enough to make me feel better with the world, no matter how bad it may be. i had one day this week that was especially crazy and She offered to come in even though She had planned to not do so. When She came into work She didn't even need to do anything. For what it was worth, She didn't do much at all. But Her mere presence was enough to set the universe right and make things better.

It just really shows that Mistress does have the powers Her title dictates and how much She makes my life better. i am a lucky sub.

Summer of Funk

No, i am not making a reference to the style of music. And i am definitely not commenting on a smell. i am speaking of the mood. It seems, after getting caught up with some of my favorite blogs, that there is a large portion of D/s couples going through a "recession" of their relationship. Mistress and i have been very on again off again this summer, and it seems we are not alone.

Domina and anthony(Here) are going through their own taxing of their relationship, even after Domina's vacation. Stress, work, family, and economics have put a strain on their time together. This has been the case for Mistress and i also. Though, i found it interesting that it led to their "switching". i know Mistress would never want, fantasize, or desire any part of switching roles. i wouldn't even know what to do. This probably explains why i never had sex in my first marriage. Since i couldn't initiate it, my ex most likely thought i wasn't interested. But i digress.

Elle over at Kinkunleashed has run into hard times with boy toy and has been flirting with even spliting up. Not surpising, but stress from work and life have effected them also. Maybe this sinking economy is trickling down to parts of people's lives they had not expected.

It is really ashame because the weather(especially here) has been nice and moderate and not overly hot. One would think that would raise folk's spirits and in turn fuel that primal D/s fire. i don't claim to know whats going on, but there is is something odd going on this summer.

Let's hope this funk lifts soon.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

i don't even know what has been happening this summer with all the sickness. It seems we have had a outbreak of Swine Flu in which O/our daughter brought home from day camp. This has led to dealing with someone in the house being ill since before the 4th. This has really put a damper on O/our time together. i am pleased to relay that Mistress allowed me to enter Her and cum over the 4th weekend. It has been a very long time since Mistress has allowed me to enter Her and i am very thankful for Her generosity. It was wonderful to make love with Mistress and please Her that way.

Since times have been a downer lately(with the exception of last weekend), i thought i would bring some humor and observations i have been making recently. Mainly, my observation of D/s or BDSM in the media. i have decided to share some of my favorite humorous examples that have been out lately.

This one has been probably the most popular. No question it is a very well done ad. When it aired, i remember Mistress and i looking at each other and smiling. i think we still do it every time it comes on.

The second ad i stumbled upon in a search for one of my favorites. For the life of me i couldn't find the commercial i saw a long time ago. When i actually did find it, the site it was posted on had been taken down. In the process of a renwed search, i cam across this T-Mobil commercial.

This last one is my absolute favorite. i was so excited when i finally was able to track it down. i hope this puts a smile on You and helps as everyone gets started back to the work week.

Missing my Collar

As some of You may have noticed that i changed my avatar icon recently. If You are still wondering what i changed it to, i wilkl explain.

One day, i was feeling deep and philosophical and i started pondering my collar and my submission. Until then, i never realized the connection of the three rings(until recently)wear. The smallest, being my wedding ring. Needing something light and extremely durable, Mistress helped me pick out a titanium ring. i know what You were thinking, but no, i am not that small that that was my cock ring.

Which brings me to the second ring. i purchased it as a gift for Mistress when W/we first started O/our plunge into D/s. i had it delivered to the house while i was at work. If you are looking for an outstanding metal cockring, this is it. HERE

Lastly, Mistress purchased a steel collar for me while i was away for an extended time on a work trip. She had it waiting for me when i got back and needless to say i was very excited. i naively wore it 24/7 for quite a while. Then a job change to being employeed to running O/our own business led to Mistress deciding that W/we shouldn't be so obvious. The moment that changed O/our perception of what the public saw was when a customer complimented me on the collar and commented "Kinky". It was positive but seems that W/we not as naive as W/we were before.

So now i usually wear it in the winter but do not have a substitute to don during the summer months. Mistress has discussed anklets, which would be exciting also. Any readers have ideas, W/we would love to hear them. In the mean time, i will be missing my collar.

"Life...don't talk to me about life"

That is one of my favorite quotes from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in which Marvin the Manically Depressed Robot responds to one of his crew-mates. Sometimes i feel that it the voice in my head when things get crazy. It is a constant balancing act between the demands of house/work and ensuring my Mistress' pleasure. Much of the time, "life" gets in the way. i am sure it is the same for Her. Not only has Mistress' been working on Her Master's degree(just after finishing her Bachelors) but has recently accepted a new job that will take Her away during the work day. On top of all of that, i had all of my obligations recently which included a college friend visiting on vacation from the Middle East. Of course, when all that is going on, family has upped the ante with their own crises which needed our attention(justifiably)

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, there needs to be time for Mistress. Don't get me wrong, there is ALWAYS time for Mistress. Just not the kind of time that allows for quiet and intimate bonding. All during this, W/we have been working on upping the ante(so to speak) on O/our own relationship. i simply adore Mistress and am so proud of all the work She does does for Herself and O/our family. i am in awe of what She gets accomplished each and every day. She inspires me to do more, work harder, and most importantly, be a better sub. i know that all of these things She is doing will bring better things for O/our family, i just hope that it may bring some more quality time.

All i really know, is that i need to make some time for U/us to get away soon and leave some of O/our responsibilities behind. She deserves it. For all of Her work. And for how wonderful She is. The last thing i would like to see is either of U/us turing into Marvin the robot.

Fit to Be Tied

In my previous post Back to Normal i stated how nice it was to get back home and start putting some time back into serving Mistress. it seems that i was incorrect in saying that things were "back to normal". It seems that "normal" doesn't even scratch the surface on how things have transpired between Mistress and myself.

To say that Mistress' sex drive and dominance has been on overdrive would be an understatement. Between spending some incredible intimate time with Her, She has found a way(either with or without me) to knock off 10+ orgasms a day.

i must rewind a bit. When W/we came back from O/our trip i misplaced some of my efforts towards serving Mistress and once again managed to get myself into some hot water. After a long discussion mid-week, i came to a better understanding of how i overlooked oppurtunities to support and serve Her. As a result of O/our discussion, Mistress decided W/we did not communicate enough and it was past due to visit a list of our desires, fantasies, and limits. Needless to say, many of our answers have changed quite a bit since O/our first visit to the list. Many of our answers reflected O/our current location on O/our voyage through D/s. Some items have also led us to more reflection and ideas.

Needless to say, Mistress was very turned on by touching base on our desires and limits and it fired off a fury of Dominance. Between requesting my assistance of reaching orgasms and giving Her Eroscillator(and Magic Wand) and heavy workout She has unleashed a new level of sexual energy i have not seen in a long time. Mistress started out the weekend with having me wear some panty hose over my pantys and talk of having me sucking some cock for Her enjoyment. She had me always thinking of Her every time i had to leave the house between Her talk and sexy text messages. i guess i know why the teens are so into it.

The pinacle of the weekend was when Mistress decided to put Her rope tieing skill to work on me by lashing Her cock, to my feet and wrists. She then procedeed to tease me with clothes pins on my nipples and balls. She allowed me to stroke myself, but only with one finger. When i proved that i could reach orgasm that way She had me fuck the bed to get myselft to cum. It was very challenging, but as soon as She started moaning from rubbing Her own pussy, i was sent over the edge.

i would have to say, things are not exactly normal. But if this isn't normal, i would like to start making it more common place. This hardly does justice to all the activites of the weekend, but this is much as time will allow for now. i am very excited where Mistress is taking this train. All the while, making me feel more and more submissive each day.

Back to Normal

Getting away from the rat race of everyday life is essential to self-preservation. It is also important to take that time to bond with your spouse and children. Unfortunately, when you take yourself out of that routine and structure of everyday life, you sacrifice the good along with the bad. As my father always said, "everything has a trade-off."

Such was this hiatus in my posts. Mistress and I decided to take O/our children to Florida to the amusement park capital of the world. It was a great trip and much fun was had. Relaxing and intimate it was not. But W/we knew that going into it. It was very important for O/our kids to have this experience. I hope they enjoyed it since it will be a while before W/we repeat it.

Thoughout the trip Mistress and I worked to keep all that W/we had worked on O/our D/s relationship kindled. It was very challenging with the heavy schedule and constant child interruptions. I find it funny that so many newlyweds go to Disney for their honeymoon since it is set up to be the place to prevent any adult thoughts, feelings or tendencies.

It has been nice to be back, wearing Mistress' panties, posting to the blog, and having quiet intimate time together. It seems I was close to having to explain my shaving and underwear choice at a doctor's appointment Monday when I saw a different doctor than I usually do and he was interested in a more thorough examination. I think he would have been in for a surprise with my straight-forward answer.

Anyway, sorry for the delay. It's good to be back where W/we can be normal. Maybe not normal by other people's standards, by my normal.

Three Weeks

i can only assume i have done well by Mistress since She allowed me to cum for the first time in 3 weeks. Having the problem of cumming too quickly is exasperated by the extra intensity of any touch when Her cock has not been allowed to release in three weeks.

i am pretty sure that the huge orgasm i gave Her while licking Her luscious pussy helped my situation a bit. i was told by mistress that it was a new level of orgasm for Her and was extremely pleased. After orally pleasing Her Mistress grabbed Her cock and stroke it to release in a short time. She had already been priming the pump while i was pleasuring Her and it was getting very difficult to not explode right there.

i promised to remain submissive afterwards. The next release will be the litmus test of how well i have done.

More than One Master(Domme)

After reflection on the past two weeks, some good discussions with Mistress, and some wonderful advice from anthony, i feel like some of my problems may have been misdiagnosed. i am not excusing it but trying to identify my weaknesses and what causes them, Ultimately, the result is the same no matter what the cause, but i feel if i can be aware of the things that cause this breakdown, then i can do better by Mistress.

Mainly, i am a lazy person. i know myself well enough that i have two speeds. Stop and Go. And it's ALL stop and ALL go. So when things get to a point where i am not doing things that are meeting Mistress' needs and not even doing things for myself, then i am at stop. When i felt this and got a swift kick in the ass to get moving, i got right to work. Not being lazy, but misdirected my energy. i get in the mode of cleaning and doing more chores so Mistress has to do less. The problem with it was not the chores were bad, but the REAL needs that have been clearly presented had been overlooked. When it all came down, i realized i was putting things i thought were important and submissive to Mistress instead of doing what She requested.

Add to all this the visit on my overbearing parents and my daughter's first sleepover for her 7th birthday. She had 5 girls sleep over and it seems some of them felt that i was their slave. Being a people pleaser created a situation in which i was throwing gasoline on the fire(instead of water). i am sure this put me further and further in the dog house even thought i felt like i was working very hard to well by everyone. When, the only person i needed to be doing well by was Mistress.

These are by no mean excuses or justifications for my behavior but identification of things that cause me to behave in a way that is not becoming of the submissive Mistress deserves and i wish to be.

A special "thank you" to anthony for his comment on my earlier post. he really has a wonderful way with words and i am jealous on how well he can express himself and how clearly he can present his thoughts. i look forward to spending more time with both anthony and Domina so i garner more advice from O/our new friends.

The Writing is on the Wall

Actually, the pavement.

With the past two weeks or so of very heavy posts i thought i would share something that made me chuckle. It is particularly poignant since it still applies to my recent situations of neglect of Mistress.

The above sign is a symbol used by hobos, drawn on the pavement or sidewalk in front of people's house. There is apparently an entire dictionary of symbols used for all types of warnings. Some mean "Unsafe place" or "Get Out Fast" or "Man with Gun" The above symbol means:

"A beating awaits you here"

Somehow i think that it probably applies to me(rightfully) and to some of my past behavior recently(more about that in another post). But, it also makes me chuckle a little and gives me a little smile. Just like when you fill out those forms online and You push the button that says "Submit".

Housework as a Gift

i am a creature of habit, as most men are. Sometimes training us can be very difficult and frustrating for most Dommes. Mistress can get very frustrated when i do not accomplish the tasks She asks me to do in an acceptable amount of time. Most of the occasions it is usually due to my own laziness or forgetfulness. Every once in a while i concentrate my energies on things i think Mistress will appreciate and will inadvertently neglect the basic things Mistress requires. i am also so forgetful that i set alarms all of the time to remind me to do things. The tasks i do get done on a regular basis are due not only my attention to Mistress but also my making it a regular habit and part of my tribute to Her. In fact, i have caught myself on several occasions running around to the passenger side door of my car to open it up to realize that it was one my friends and not Mistress(out of habit and good training)

In the blog post on Femdom 101, the Domme writes about housework and it's roll as a gift of submission from the man to the Woman. i feel very often that when i clean the house, do laundry, or wash dishes that i am in fact doing it for the pleasure of Mistress. It becomes very important to me that She accepts these gifts as my token of my love and devotion to Her. i am never ashamed that i am the one to do the work that has traditionally in the past been "Woman's work". i love for Mistress to have a clean house, clean laundry, and a nice place to live so that She doesn't have to worry about that and can concentrate on things She feels are important and require Her attention.

When i get lazy or when "life" gets in the way and i do not shave or keep up with my chores and obligations i become less submissive and Mistress becomes less dominant. i have learned recently that even though Mistress is kind and forgiving that i still need to be vigilant with my duties because i become more and more lazy once i partake in those acts of kindness and generosity Mistress bestows on me.

i hope to become less and less lazy and more and more attentive. i definitely like what it does for Mistress which in turn makes me more happy sub.

HNT-Guess the picture

i decided to use a shot from a group of pictures i took of myself for Mistress. This time i figured i should be a little less revealing. This picture reminded me of those shots with close-ups of ordinary objects and you have to figure out what they are. i went ahead and cropped the picture so it wasn't incredibly obvious but at least it would count for a HNT!

New Friends

Mistress and i have recently been in contact with another Femdom couple in our area through a craigslist ad they placed. As posted in Moving out of O/our comfort Zone we managed to have a great exchange through a private chat room and discovered they were the fine folks at The Path Least Chosen, Domina and anthony (D and a). W/we left things to either chat again or possibly get together. It seemed they enjoyed U/us as much as W/we enjoyed them and encouraged to meet up for dinner. After getting all of O/our adult schedules W/we managed to set up a date and meet up.

So on Saturday Mistress and i nervously (and excitedly) got O/ourselves presentable, arranged a sitter, and ventured up to the big city to meet with up D and a. Mistress was more nervous than i was about this meet up. i just figured i was better at putting the fact that we had everything out in the open on O/our blogs out of my mind. i was more excited to meet up with someone new and people that everything was fair game for discussion.

W/we arrived a little before D and a and were taken back by the lack of "curb appeal" of the restaurant D and a had chosen. That was quickly remedied after W/we went inside to a warm and inviting atmosphere. See, don't judge a book by it's cover!!

D and a looked great. It was great to see the people behind the emails and blog posts. After W/we were seated everyone went right into all out conversation, picking up where W/we left off on O/our chat. Most of the conversation covered matters of the vanilla type with a few D/s bombs dropped here and there. D was outgoing, positive, and bubbly while a was more reserved and shy. a seemed to open up as the night went on and it was obvious that he seemed the least comfortable of the group. In time he opened up with little bits and pieces. It was inspiring how thoughtful and articulate a is. He was the only one in the group who was not partaking the "social lubricant" but it did not effect the conversation or the evening at all. As a matter of fact, it was amazing how perfect the place was they picked out. i thought about the awkwardness in certain crowded restaurant situations could be. But, D and a picked a great place. Whether by accident or on purpose, i don't know. Just like a magician- a Domme doesn't give away secrets!

The evening moved very quickly, which is always a sign that things are going well. i remember a perking up and noting the time was 9 pm and the next thing i know it, the clock chimed 11 pm. Even though W/we shared D/s, it was wonderful that all of us enjoyed each other beyond that. Mistress, not wanting to end the night as things were getting going, suggested W/we go to another location for drinks and dessert.

It seemed that the switch of locations and the small break during the car ride opened everything up and everyone came out shooting when W/we regrouped at O/our new location. Conversation moved from vanilla to O/our relationships, toys, techniques, and personal questions. It was really sweet how D would tease a and make him blush and at the same time be supportive and loving. She really is a true a Domme. Assertive, confident, and commanding but at the same time supportive, loving, and thoughtful. Not like some of the people who you may read about who say they are a Domme but really they are a "bitch". i think one of the things i enjoyed about them was how much T/they remind me of Mistress and i. It was like looking in a mirror. Seeing another couple truly in love, enjoying their time together, and in a working D/s relationship.

a had a couple of "quotable moments" throughout the evening. i tend to go open wide and speak from the cuff while a is much more thoughtful. Several times i caught myself trying to make mental note of his statements. If you have not read their blog, i really recommend that you do so to truly appreciate both of them. a is not your "spineless" slave. Both D and a write together on the blog and it offers wonderful insight.

So just like O/our first chat, the evening came to an end too soon. But the time of day, long drive, and early rise for a the next day suggested W/we cut things off. Mistress and i could have stayed up all night talking with them. But maybe like a good concert, W/we were left wanting to come back for more. Mistress and i have many friends but many of them live long distances away and none of them have drawn both of U/us in like D and a. i hope this is the first of many more times together and the beginning of a long friendship. i can't speak for T/them, but i look forward to O/our next time together and i appreciate the time T/they gave to U/us out of T/their limited time they have together.

Maybe next time, a and i will cook dinner for the Ladies? Who knows. But, i am sure it will be fun.