Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Dealing with the "Switch"
Work and family activities have keep Mistress and i very busy lately. In addition to O/our responsibilities, sickness and allergies of the the harvest season have reeked havoc on O/our lives. This has really pushed O/our D/s time to the back burner while W/we regroup and recover.
This "drop" most likely occurred after a couple of disappointing weekends with O/our non-vanilla friends. i am happy to say that all is well but that W/we will be waiting for things to regroup and settle down before W/we plan another get together. One of the things that those events stirred was the desire to find some more like minded folks. This search has lead to some observations and revelations on my part.
First, W/we are very lucky to have met and befriended people like Domina and anthony. Not only are T/they great people but rare. What i mean by that is that i am slowly discovering that the BDSM community is a niche group. Within that group is an even smaller sub-section(LOL) of folks in a committed Female Led Relationship. This is my second observation.
Couples in a real Femdom relationship are very rare. There seems to be a large amount of people that are into the play aspect of what D/s may bring, but not so many that are really interested into submitting to their Mistress. This is by no means a judgement, but an observation. It really blows me away that Mistress and i even met up with Domina and anthony at all.
Lastly, there seems to be a large cross-section of the BDSM community that identifies themselves as "Switches" Which brings me to the subject of this post. Mistress and i have had many discussions on "switches". It may be O/our relationship or O/our biased lenses in which W/we view the world, but D/s is not something i feel is swappable.
If one is a true submissive, they cannot turn that off. Being submissive is not just about the bedroom. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. i see couples all the time and can tell how it plays out, even if it doesn't show it's head in a form of kink. There is a top and there is a bottom. Black and white. i feel that those folks who can change like a chameleon are mearly into the role-playing aspect of D/s.
This really has become evident to me in the search for other like minded couples on other sites. The male Dom and female sub are the majority and the switches are a close second. The Female Led Relationships are a small section of these people.
i am not sure i will ever understand switching and that i may have upset some of my readers by my statements here but this is something that i have been stewing on for quite a while an wanted to put it out in the open. Everyone should express themselves as they feel fit. But being a submissive, i only see it one way.