Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Two worlds collide

For the first time in my life i had a moment in which my D/s lifestyle and my vanilla life came head to head and almost collided. i am sure many of you out there feel as though you are mildly schizophrenic in trying to keep these two worlds apart. Some folks are fortunate that they do not have to hide their true self from the world, but the rest of us must maintain the vanilla status quo in order to protect our professional lives. Because of that, i live two lives in person and online. There is the side of me the general public, family, and most friends see. Then there is the side of me that Mistress sees and i share with certain folks online. All along keeping two separate identities.

So i was on facebook(with my one identity) and noticed a friend from high school had posted Her status as having to get fit in order to play a dominatrix in an upcoming play this January. i wanted to comment and even offer suggestions in which She could read up in order to get into character. Just before commenting i realized i couldn't do that. i am not "out" with my vanilla friends and they would not understand. So i let it go.

For the first time in my life i think i started to know how it must feel to be a homosexual and still in the closet. Of course this hardly compares to the discrimination gays face day to day. But, i felt like i had a very small clue what it must be like to have to hide part of yourself in fear of judgement by your friends and family.

Mistress and i cannot really be pigeon holed into Republican/Democrat or Conservative/Liberal but W/we have always been in support of a persons right to be who they want to be and to live their live as they see fit, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Needless to say, the sympathy i had for the gay community(and any other group that lives in secret out of fear) has grown even more.

i consider myself lucky that i can be who i am with my Wife and the folks who i have met who are part of D/s.


  1. On the other hand... I kinda like making comments to friends and co-workers sometimes and leave them to wonder how the hell I know so much.

    But it's usually with people whom, although I'd be shy "coming out" to, I still trust and feel it wouldn't be THAT bad.

  2. Elle-

    W/we have some close friends locally that W/we feel similarly about. Where if it "got out", it wouldn't be the end of the world.

    i even wonder if a couple of them may have a little clue. LOL

  3. We're in a similar situation. We remain pretty much vanilla outside the home, especially in the work environment. However as time goes on, we are less and less concerned about friends and relatives discovering our lifestyle. I am sure many of them already suspect that there is something different about our relationship.