Monday, May 25, 2009

Housework as a Gift

i am a creature of habit, as most men are. Sometimes training us can be very difficult and frustrating for most Dommes. Mistress can get very frustrated when i do not accomplish the tasks She asks me to do in an acceptable amount of time. Most of the occasions it is usually due to my own laziness or forgetfulness. Every once in a while i concentrate my energies on things i think Mistress will appreciate and will inadvertently neglect the basic things Mistress requires. i am also so forgetful that i set alarms all of the time to remind me to do things. The tasks i do get done on a regular basis are due not only my attention to Mistress but also my making it a regular habit and part of my tribute to Her. In fact, i have caught myself on several occasions running around to the passenger side door of my car to open it up to realize that it was one my friends and not Mistress(out of habit and good training)

In the blog post on Femdom 101, the Domme writes about housework and it's roll as a gift of submission from the man to the Woman. i feel very often that when i clean the house, do laundry, or wash dishes that i am in fact doing it for the pleasure of Mistress. It becomes very important to me that She accepts these gifts as my token of my love and devotion to Her. i am never ashamed that i am the one to do the work that has traditionally in the past been "Woman's work". i love for Mistress to have a clean house, clean laundry, and a nice place to live so that She doesn't have to worry about that and can concentrate on things She feels are important and require Her attention.

When i get lazy or when "life" gets in the way and i do not shave or keep up with my chores and obligations i become less submissive and Mistress becomes less dominant. i have learned recently that even though Mistress is kind and forgiving that i still need to be vigilant with my duties because i become more and more lazy once i partake in those acts of kindness and generosity Mistress bestows on me.

i hope to become less and less lazy and more and more attentive. i definitely like what it does for Mistress which in turn makes me more happy sub.

1 comment:

  1. J, I think I understand where you are coming from. It’s pretty easy for either party to get discouraged at times. If some things are not routine, then it takes effort to consciously make them habit. That’s where D and I get caught up at times.

    See if any of this sounds familiar:

    I look for regular reinforcement. I always want to know it’s OK what I’m doing and that it is what D wants. There are times when I don’t feel submissive, but try to work through it. There are times when D doesn’t feel dominant and I am fearful if I act all submissive it’s going to turn her off. I endeavor to be the dependent one when we get home in the evening, but then sometimes I fear that the last thing after a hard day Domina feels like is me needing her direction.

    Domina, on the converse, doesn’t want to have to give regular reinforcement. She wants me to take the initiative to serve. If I’m truly submissive, I should naturally do this happily without any hesitation. (though we’ve both noted I’m not naturally submissive) Most of all, being dominant takes energy and thoughtfulness on her part. She doesn’t want to waste energy on management issues when she rather it be done and just having intimate time together.

    The thing is it’s a snowball effect. If I fail to be submissive to her liking, she is turned off by my lack of responsiveness. If I feel what I’m doing as a submissive is strange or undesirable to her, I hold back. You may never know where it all begins, but when one disconnects from the other, it usually illicits the same undesirable effect in the other.

    This is where I think the equality must come from disparity on our part. As the submissives, we seek out the inferior position to our mates. But there is still a need for balance. We read and see how the Female Dominant lifestyle is generally initiated by the man… his inner needs and desires. She has to be introduced to the concept, sold on it because it is almost abnormal to the rest of society. But that assumed premise always leads back to us, the submissive man, of being in a more shameful position bringing our partners to live in a way that they would not otherwise desire. At some point, I think it’s healthiest to both admit that you both desire this form of interaction in your relationship, that you are both vested. That you both value it enough to work at it. So my suggestion is that perhaps you try to recommit on a regular basis as a way to honor W and more fully give over to her. This might get you the approval and support you need without requiring her to manage you

    Of course if I’m way off base and this is just a matter of laziness, I’m sorry for what your rear end must look like!