Three Weeks

i can only assume i have done well by Mistress since She allowed me to cum for the first time in 3 weeks. Having the problem of cumming too quickly is exasperated by the extra intensity of any touch when Her cock has not been allowed to release in three weeks.

i am pretty sure that the huge orgasm i gave Her while licking Her luscious pussy helped my situation a bit. i was told by mistress that it was a new level of orgasm for Her and was extremely pleased. After orally pleasing Her Mistress grabbed Her cock and stroke it to release in a short time. She had already been priming the pump while i was pleasuring Her and it was getting very difficult to not explode right there.

i promised to remain submissive afterwards. The next release will be the litmus test of how well i have done.

More than One Master(Domme)

After reflection on the past two weeks, some good discussions with Mistress, and some wonderful advice from anthony, i feel like some of my problems may have been misdiagnosed. i am not excusing it but trying to identify my weaknesses and what causes them, Ultimately, the result is the same no matter what the cause, but i feel if i can be aware of the things that cause this breakdown, then i can do better by Mistress.

Mainly, i am a lazy person. i know myself well enough that i have two speeds. Stop and Go. And it's ALL stop and ALL go. So when things get to a point where i am not doing things that are meeting Mistress' needs and not even doing things for myself, then i am at stop. When i felt this and got a swift kick in the ass to get moving, i got right to work. Not being lazy, but misdirected my energy. i get in the mode of cleaning and doing more chores so Mistress has to do less. The problem with it was not the chores were bad, but the REAL needs that have been clearly presented had been overlooked. When it all came down, i realized i was putting things i thought were important and submissive to Mistress instead of doing what She requested.

Add to all this the visit on my overbearing parents and my daughter's first sleepover for her 7th birthday. She had 5 girls sleep over and it seems some of them felt that i was their slave. Being a people pleaser created a situation in which i was throwing gasoline on the fire(instead of water). i am sure this put me further and further in the dog house even thought i felt like i was working very hard to well by everyone. When, the only person i needed to be doing well by was Mistress.

These are by no mean excuses or justifications for my behavior but identification of things that cause me to behave in a way that is not becoming of the submissive Mistress deserves and i wish to be.

A special "thank you" to anthony for his comment on my earlier post. he really has a wonderful way with words and i am jealous on how well he can express himself and how clearly he can present his thoughts. i look forward to spending more time with both anthony and Domina so i garner more advice from O/our new friends.

The Writing is on the Wall

Actually, the pavement.

With the past two weeks or so of very heavy posts i thought i would share something that made me chuckle. It is particularly poignant since it still applies to my recent situations of neglect of Mistress.

The above sign is a symbol used by hobos, drawn on the pavement or sidewalk in front of people's house. There is apparently an entire dictionary of symbols used for all types of warnings. Some mean "Unsafe place" or "Get Out Fast" or "Man with Gun" The above symbol means:

"A beating awaits you here"

Somehow i think that it probably applies to me(rightfully) and to some of my past behavior recently(more about that in another post). But, it also makes me chuckle a little and gives me a little smile. Just like when you fill out those forms online and You push the button that says "Submit".

Housework as a Gift

i am a creature of habit, as most men are. Sometimes training us can be very difficult and frustrating for most Dommes. Mistress can get very frustrated when i do not accomplish the tasks She asks me to do in an acceptable amount of time. Most of the occasions it is usually due to my own laziness or forgetfulness. Every once in a while i concentrate my energies on things i think Mistress will appreciate and will inadvertently neglect the basic things Mistress requires. i am also so forgetful that i set alarms all of the time to remind me to do things. The tasks i do get done on a regular basis are due not only my attention to Mistress but also my making it a regular habit and part of my tribute to Her. In fact, i have caught myself on several occasions running around to the passenger side door of my car to open it up to realize that it was one my friends and not Mistress(out of habit and good training)

In the blog post on Femdom 101, the Domme writes about housework and it's roll as a gift of submission from the man to the Woman. i feel very often that when i clean the house, do laundry, or wash dishes that i am in fact doing it for the pleasure of Mistress. It becomes very important to me that She accepts these gifts as my token of my love and devotion to Her. i am never ashamed that i am the one to do the work that has traditionally in the past been "Woman's work". i love for Mistress to have a clean house, clean laundry, and a nice place to live so that She doesn't have to worry about that and can concentrate on things She feels are important and require Her attention.

When i get lazy or when "life" gets in the way and i do not shave or keep up with my chores and obligations i become less submissive and Mistress becomes less dominant. i have learned recently that even though Mistress is kind and forgiving that i still need to be vigilant with my duties because i become more and more lazy once i partake in those acts of kindness and generosity Mistress bestows on me.

i hope to become less and less lazy and more and more attentive. i definitely like what it does for Mistress which in turn makes me more happy sub.

HNT-Guess the picture

i decided to use a shot from a group of pictures i took of myself for Mistress. This time i figured i should be a little less revealing. This picture reminded me of those shots with close-ups of ordinary objects and you have to figure out what they are. i went ahead and cropped the picture so it wasn't incredibly obvious but at least it would count for a HNT!

New Friends

Mistress and i have recently been in contact with another Femdom couple in our area through a craigslist ad they placed. As posted in Moving out of O/our comfort Zone we managed to have a great exchange through a private chat room and discovered they were the fine folks at The Path Least Chosen, Domina and anthony (D and a). W/we left things to either chat again or possibly get together. It seemed they enjoyed U/us as much as W/we enjoyed them and encouraged to meet up for dinner. After getting all of O/our adult schedules W/we managed to set up a date and meet up.

So on Saturday Mistress and i nervously (and excitedly) got O/ourselves presentable, arranged a sitter, and ventured up to the big city to meet with up D and a. Mistress was more nervous than i was about this meet up. i just figured i was better at putting the fact that we had everything out in the open on O/our blogs out of my mind. i was more excited to meet up with someone new and people that everything was fair game for discussion.

W/we arrived a little before D and a and were taken back by the lack of "curb appeal" of the restaurant D and a had chosen. That was quickly remedied after W/we went inside to a warm and inviting atmosphere. See, don't judge a book by it's cover!!

D and a looked great. It was great to see the people behind the emails and blog posts. After W/we were seated everyone went right into all out conversation, picking up where W/we left off on O/our chat. Most of the conversation covered matters of the vanilla type with a few D/s bombs dropped here and there. D was outgoing, positive, and bubbly while a was more reserved and shy. a seemed to open up as the night went on and it was obvious that he seemed the least comfortable of the group. In time he opened up with little bits and pieces. It was inspiring how thoughtful and articulate a is. He was the only one in the group who was not partaking the "social lubricant" but it did not effect the conversation or the evening at all. As a matter of fact, it was amazing how perfect the place was they picked out. i thought about the awkwardness in certain crowded restaurant situations could be. But, D and a picked a great place. Whether by accident or on purpose, i don't know. Just like a magician- a Domme doesn't give away secrets!

The evening moved very quickly, which is always a sign that things are going well. i remember a perking up and noting the time was 9 pm and the next thing i know it, the clock chimed 11 pm. Even though W/we shared D/s, it was wonderful that all of us enjoyed each other beyond that. Mistress, not wanting to end the night as things were getting going, suggested W/we go to another location for drinks and dessert.

It seemed that the switch of locations and the small break during the car ride opened everything up and everyone came out shooting when W/we regrouped at O/our new location. Conversation moved from vanilla to O/our relationships, toys, techniques, and personal questions. It was really sweet how D would tease a and make him blush and at the same time be supportive and loving. She really is a true a Domme. Assertive, confident, and commanding but at the same time supportive, loving, and thoughtful. Not like some of the people who you may read about who say they are a Domme but really they are a "bitch". i think one of the things i enjoyed about them was how much T/they remind me of Mistress and i. It was like looking in a mirror. Seeing another couple truly in love, enjoying their time together, and in a working D/s relationship.

a had a couple of "quotable moments" throughout the evening. i tend to go open wide and speak from the cuff while a is much more thoughtful. Several times i caught myself trying to make mental note of his statements. If you have not read their blog, i really recommend that you do so to truly appreciate both of them. a is not your "spineless" slave. Both D and a write together on the blog and it offers wonderful insight.

So just like O/our first chat, the evening came to an end too soon. But the time of day, long drive, and early rise for a the next day suggested W/we cut things off. Mistress and i could have stayed up all night talking with them. But maybe like a good concert, W/we were left wanting to come back for more. Mistress and i have many friends but many of them live long distances away and none of them have drawn both of U/us in like D and a. i hope this is the first of many more times together and the beginning of a long friendship. i can't speak for T/them, but i look forward to O/our next time together and i appreciate the time T/they gave to U/us out of T/their limited time they have together.

Maybe next time, a and i will cook dinner for the Ladies? Who knows. But, i am sure it will be fun.

Cumming without orgasm

i had an unfortunate and interesting experience this morning. i was pleasantly awaken by Mistress' fondling of Her cock as i woke from my slumber. Many times when i am deeply asleep Her cock cock takes a while to wake up, but after being denied for two weeks it arose to attention. Mistress stroked Her cock faster and slower, each time arousing me more and more. She then instructed me to rub Her beautiful breasts as She stroked Her wet pussy. After getting Herself to orgasm, She instructed me to rub Her cock. Knowing that i had four children in the house, i proceeded to lock the door and kneel on the bed beside Mistress so She could have a good view of Her private show. To add to the fun, She had me add Her favorite toy(Magic Wand) to the mix. She was rubbing Herself while i rubbed Her cock and massaged Her breasts. This send Her over the edge with another orgasm.

Then Mistress instructed me to lay on my back and She proceeded to tease me with Her wand. Each time, the feeling of climaxing became more intense. She has done this to me in the past and i feel that i have grown to know when i was getting close or not. But this one time, She touched on just the right spot and i went from enjoying Her teasing to erupting. Not in a good way mind you. But cumming with having an orgasm. i was really disappointed. i know that i have a itchy trigger but this was terrible. Not only did i cum and disappoint Her, but i didn't even have an orgasm. i don't know if being in my CB-3000 this week has made Her cock more sensitive or the two weeks without cumming has. i am not quite sure. But the whole experience was upsetting on multiple levels. After words Mistress spent some time trying to train me not to cum by alternating between ball slapping and stroking. During that time, she whispered in my ear, "I own your orgasms". Which i replied, "Yes Mistress". In truth, She did own my orgasm this morning. Even though i came i did not orgasm. Only if i could figure out how to do the reverse and then there would be no need for birth control.

i am sorry mistress.

HNT-punishment

So i decided to make Mistress happy and alter my choice in my punishment and put on my CB-3000. It has been a long time since i have worn it and i was surprised how effective it was in making me more submissive with every move i make. It reminds me of who i belong to. It reminds me of who i submit to. If you have not worn one you most likely do not know what i am talking about.

When you move you feel your penis move in and out of the cage. Sometimes it's in the background and sometimes it's just egging you on. There are times in which wearing it for long periods of time can be uncomfortable but overall it has been very positive. Every move makes me think of my Mistress. To add to it, Mistress has adorned me with Her panties which reinforces Her dominance over me. i most likely came to realize i needed to do this for Her after She decided to put Her panties on me. Normally, this is not something that i find arousing but this time it has been different. Donning Her underwear was not necessarily for humiliation(thought it could) but for reminder of my position. After that experience is when i decided i needed to please Her more with Her other option of punishment.

The good news is that i get to continue to sleep with Mistress(for now).

HNT!

Punishment

Mistress came up with two punishments this past weekend for being neglectful towards my household duties and attention to Her. She gave me a choice between wearing my CB-300o or sleeping in a bed alone. Both for a period of one week. Both are a punishment for me since i really treasure sleeping in the same bed as Mistress. After much deliberation, i decided to decide to sleep alone since i sometimes have problems wearing my CB-3000 because i get irritated and sometimes slip out(small size).

Afterwards, Mistress confessed that She was disappointed in my choice since She knew how much i loved sleeping with Her. i explained my concerns and then was enlightened that the punishment i choose was a punishment for Her as well.

On top of it all, Mistress was kind enough to allow me to share a bed with Her the past two nights since neither of us has slept well over the weekend(allergies, puppies, life). Mistress is a very kind and gracious Woman. After writing this i am considering on how i can make it up to Her and show my appreciation for Her kindness. i will post again letting you know what i came up with.

Neglecting Mistress

It has taken me longer than i had planned to get around to posting recently. It seems that life has taken a toll on both Mistress and me. i can only speak for myself, but i have not been in my "sub space" much this week. i have neglected some of my duties and responsibilities around the house. This has not been any fault other than my own. The day to day demands of work and family sometimes take a toll on other "things". That other "thing" being O/our D/s relationship.

Currently, Mistress and i work together and are rarely apart. The week prior, Mistress had been doing a lot of work on Her degree at home and working on some other job opportunities which has led to U/Us spending time apart. i feel like it resulted in a renewed fondness for each other. i do not consciously think about this but it is evident that it directly effects O/our relationship. Several years ago W/we thought working together would be the best for both of U/us. my prior job kept me away from home and out late in weekdays and weekends. Somehow, i think W/we went the other extreme where W/we spend every waking moment together.

Do not get me wrong. i love being with Mistress all the time, but i think W/we have a difficult time juggling O/our work relationship in conjunction with O/our home relationship. Each of U/us reacts differently to the stress of the day. So what happens is that when W/we get home there is nothing new to share(or maybe even better, leave at work) about O/our day. Sometimes work creeps right on in and remains until W/we go to bed. This is very unfortunate and Mistress does not deserve this. This is why i think Her pursuits of another job will ultimately be better for O/our relationship.

When the day comes for Mistress to move to another job, i will be sad. i love waking up with Her. i love riding to work with Her. i love doing everything i can for Her at work. i love hearing Her ideas, thoughts, and feelings about work. i love working together with a common goal. i love that most of the time O/our day ends together. i will miss all of that. But, i will be glad that She will have something that will not be effected by me and will lead to Her growing more and more confident as my Domme.